I promise... I will be back...

` friendship or love??

many things hav been happening
i dun knw which 1 to tell
but i shall write abt tis particular incident tat happened to me ytd nite

i had tis friend
i dun wanna mention names
let it be friend A

frend A has a gf
i dun knw abt their relationship well
but as far as i knw,i guess its going fine

friend A was my close friend
&& i treated him in tat way
so whether m happy or sad i wld msg him

but aft sooo long
i mean aft many days
it striked me ytd nite
gave me a shock of my life
&& hurt me

he msg me saying,

"I m realli sry to say tis
but...my gf does not knw
m msging u.According to her
ur my sch mate but she
read the msgs u send me && she is realli
upset.She is a possesive person...
i think we sld stop toking to each other
&& i m realli sry..we can still chat && all but
i dun think we sld msg each other animore && i m sry"

the msg has a bit of change here n there
to avoid certain things

wen i read the msg last nite
i was totally shocked
cos i didn't expect things to be like tis
&& sum more the person whom u treat like a best friend
treat u in return like tat

i saw Friend A online today
the conversation

me: hi my online frien
friend A: yes
friend A: "online frend"
me: lolx
me: no prob in chatting rite??
A: no prob la
me: okae
A; pls i din wana do wat i did but i had to la.....pls understand
me: lolx
me: jus imagine hw i felt
me: i understand
me: m not so bad btw
A: im really sorri i noe and even my gf noes u din flirt or tok dirty or what its jus gals r possesive

&& the conversation jus continued

i bascially dun understand
friendship && love
i wonder who found them both

i dun wanna be the devil of their relationship
so i deleted his number
&& neva msg him
he is jus my online friend nw

even if i m gonna see him outside
i dun think i wld tok
cos he wld be invisible to me

then i msg my buddy
asking him,if such thing wld eva happen to him
wld he msg me like tat
all my buddy said was

"Then i wld ask her to break off...
i wld not wan sum1 like tat as my gf
U like a sis to me so if she can't accept tat
then i will break off with her"

&& he oso promised
tat he wld neva leave me alone

m not tryin to compare
but even though both of my friends
look who understood me beta??
haiz

`lil shorty

Labels: ` heart broken

I gave you my promise

on Thursday, June 19, 2008; 3:29 PM

` friendship or love??

Labels: ` i didn't expect him to say tat

I gave you my promise

on ; 12:25 AM

` A day out with daddy

yesterday night i really could not sleep
due to the pain i was having
i think m having appendix pain
&& it suck to have that pain
i nearly cried cause it was too painful

i was msging some of my friends
they were trying to divert my mind
but sad to say i was still in pain
i wanted to go doctor but i guess its
a waste of money

i don't want to trouble my dad about it too
he already sick && i don't want to add on to it
so i can just bear with the pain
i hope it would go off soon

every hour i kept waking up
to the extend i wanted to wake up && take shower
that mid morning
i wanted to shout & scream but my dad & sis
were sleeping
they already sick so didn't want to disturb their sleep

finally i woke up at 7am
just went to bathe
my dad was like shocked cause i woke up too early
&& it is the holidays
he thought i was having fever
but i was not instead flu && sore throat

i was neither hungry or sleepy
but just in pain
my dad kept asking me to take my breakfast
i kept saying,i wasn't hungry
in fact i was not

later part of the day my dad wanted to go clinic
so i said i wanted to follow him
since i had nothing to do && was afraid he might fall down or something

polyclinics the queue don't have to tell
haiz,its just too long
government clinic,& its cheaper so most of us would end up going there
i too waited for my dad
so was killing time by listening to music

aft few hours
went to 900+,coffee shop
&& there my daddy made me eat
usually when i eat,i don't drink water
my dad would scold me
due to that i ordered hot milo
at least i pleased my dad :))
i still LOVE him

after having my yummy breakfast
my dad wanted to have his hair cut
so followed him
while he was having his hair cut
i was snapping away with his spectacles

i was like the nerdy girl
i looked like one for the moment
while i was snapping
many walked pass me && just smile at me
they must have thought i m a vain person

after having his new hair cut
went to buy bread
then took bus home
the most funniest part was
i did not bring my wallet or my ezlink card
so the day was spend by my daddy's $$$

came back home
started having the pain again
i tell you its a torture
but i can't predict wad time it would come && go

was doing my maths TYS && graphs
i thought got tuition but my brother was not free today
so NO TUITION =) & =(

the pain was too much
so i just went to sleep
with my head phone plugged to my ears
i was sleeping

but i could not sleep peacefully also
one cause of the pain another i don't know why
but could not sleep
eventually slept

woke up used comp
then went to make tea for daddy
took my shower
now fresh && hungry =P

have to wait for my sis to come back home
till then i think i would do my english TYS homeworks
going to take lunch cum dinner now

`l!l $hoR+y

Labels: just another day

I gave you my promise

on Thursday, June 12, 2008; 8:10 PM

Many days have passed by but the scar u left behind is still there

i knw it has been 8mths && 11days
but the pain is still there
i can onli cry out my pain but its not bearable
wen i m always left alone,i tend to think many things
which i ain't supposed to be thinking
but i jus can't help it
cos tis is my life

i too once had a wonderful childhood
jus like others did
i even was living the life of a princess
as i hav said before
but those did not last foreva in my case
it started drifting away frm me each time

i seriously got no words to explain
every1 think m talking the same old things
but i jus can't explain it
onli thing tat knws abt wad is happening is
my blog,my dairy,the 4 walls,my fone
guess wad??
tis is all non living things

being born as the youngest child
i m pampered,u dun hav to tell me
i do knw it
cos i m my daddy's lil princess
&& mummy's lil sunshine

till now i can even hear ppl
toking abt me
look,u dun hav to judge me as u dun live my life
i m jus filled with anger,tears,sorrows && many more u can name

haizz i wonder wen
tis would all end
wen it ends
i guess i won't be hear to see it
cos i wld be having a peaceful slp
a slp tat no 1 can disturb

gonna catch sum dramas nw
catch up later

P.S: i still can feel it ='(

`l!l $h0r+y

Labels: the pain is unbearable

I gave you my promise

on Wednesday, June 11, 2008; 8:42 PM

will be back

hey there bloggyyy
today is tuesday
time is running slow again

aniwayz later got haranesh b'day party
mus go there

my blog is under construction
will be done by tonite
&& i wld be back again

tootixxx

`|!| $hor+y

I gave you my promise

on Tuesday, June 10, 2008; 4:48 PM

unfaithful gal

was doing my maths...
its a BIG obstacle for me to cross
i realli suck at maths
but i hav neva give up
i hav many many qns circled up for laterr tuition time

sumtimes i hav to force myself to study
if not i wld neva study && end up being lazy
nw since i m onli left with 5 sujects i hav to bug up
i need to use tis holidays to change myself && focus on my wrk

m getting too lazyy && lazyy && lazyy
haizzz
think & think & think i wad i do
but sumtimes i dun even knw wad i m thinking

i hav been listening to the unfaithful by rihanna
i think tat song is realli nice && i m in love with tat song
its oso out in the tamil version but i still think tat the english version
is still the best
aniway i love both the versions

Story of my life,
Searching for the right,
But it keeps avoiding me.
Sorrow in my soul,
Because it seems like one,
Really loves my company.

He's more than a man,
And this is more than love,
The reason that the sky is blue.
The clouds are rolling in,
Because I'm gone again,
And to him I just can't be true.

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful,
And it kills him inside,
To know that I am happy,
With some other guy.
I can see him dying.

I don't wanna do this anymore,
I don't wanna be the reason why,
Everytime I walk out the door,
I see him die a little more inside.
I don't wanna hurt him anymore,
I don't wanna take away his life.
I don't wanna be...
A murderer.

I feel it in the air,
As I'm doing my hair,
Preparing for another date.
A kiss upon my cheek,
As he reluctantly,
Asks if I'm gonna be out late.
I say I won't be long,
Just hanging with the girls,
A lie I didn't have to tell.
Because we both know,

Where I'm about to go,
And we know it very well.

'Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful,
And it kills him inside,
To know that I am happy,
With some other guy.
I can see him dying.

I don't wanna do this anymore,
I don't wanna be the reason why,
Everytime I walk out the door,
I see him die a little more inside.
I don't wanna hurt him anymore,
I don't wanna take away his life.
I don't wanna be...
A murderer.

Our love,
His trust,
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head,
Get it over with.
I don't wanna do this,
Anymore, ooooooh, anymore.

I don't wanna do this anymore,
I don't wanna be the reason why,
And everytime I walk out the door,
I see him die a little more inside.
I don't wanna hurt him anymore,
I don't wanna take away his life.
I don't wanna be...
A murderer.

Oooh.
A murderer.
No, no, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

hahah i got sooo muchh time to take down the lyrics
time is realli slow
but i knw its trying to tell me sumthing but i dun knw wad
aniwayss
hav to go && rest nw && continue doing my straw hearts

` |i| $shorty

Labels: u made me unfaithful

I gave you my promise

on Monday, June 9, 2008; 3:02 PM

cum & lead my sinful life

i jus feel the whole world is crashing dwn on me
&& i jus hate tis feeling
nwadays m not myself
i cry to myself sum ppl got probz
its my tears && my life
cum && live my sinful life && feel the pain

m not blaming ani1 here
but it hurts me deep down
i wish many things came true
m jus waiting for the day man
i had a tok wit my mummy && she promised me sum things
plsh mummy make them true alrites

i think in my 17yrs of life
i hav made many sins
&& sum sins are
1) is to be born on tis earth
2) to be smiling
3) to be happy
4) hot-temper
5) arrgoant
6) stubborn
7)over friendly
8) too innocent-in believing every single thing
&& i can go on like tat

i guess i cried too much tat nw i dun hav tears sial
even my tears dun wanna me
1 thing tat is free in tis world is called ADVISE
frm the young to the old every1 can give it
but its up to a person whether sld she or sldn't she take it

i realli wished my mum was here
seriously
she is my best friend,mentor,mum,adviser && many more
till nw i dun understand y sld she leave me all alone
y didn't she take me along wit her??
she knws i can't leave witout her jus for a moment but
nw its 8mths tat i neva see her face,listened to her voice
watch her getting dressed up
MUMMY Y DID U GO????

i hate tis world
arghhhhh
i jus soooo angry wit myself
jus feel like slaughtering myself to death
m sooo sickk
sick of all tis nonsense
serious

in the end u oso had a thought i might be tat kind of gal
hw cld u???
when i heard tat u felt like tat
i lost myself
dun knw wad to do

is tis was is called life???
m realli down tis time ard

jus wanna say sorry to sum ppl
whom i show my anger ani hw
is not tat m angry wit ya or sumthing
m jus sooo irritated && angry each day tats all
so sry to u ppl

&& i wish i was gone tis minute

Labels: i wish i was gone tis minute

I gave you my promise

on Friday, June 6, 2008; 2:42 PM